'". Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. I said bye but she walked straight in. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. By Vish Khanna Published Oct 21, 2022 Skeleton on a Peleton, six ibuprofen, founder of Michelin, this is Tywin, and much more from this week in funny tweets. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. By Vish Khanna. BuzzFeed Staff . 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Have you been living under a rock? Pregnant people past week 30 should all be sent to a warm seaside or desert retreat like a rich Victorian woman recovering from mania, where someone brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their pregnancy, retweet if you agree. Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. (Cue applause.) 5 paused the movie she was watching, handed me the remote and said while Im playing, you can watch something in case you were wondering whos in charge around here. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Caroline Bologna. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. I told her it's a name. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. ". This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. #1 You won't. Start packing. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. my son just referred to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and im officially calling them that now. Sorry Im late, the kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor. My 6yo just told me he's 1000 years old and not really human. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. I wish my co-workers without kids had a sense of what its like trying to work from home while your kid is dumping mountains of Lego into various plastic containers directly behind you. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Lets see how this plays out. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. They will communicate with . The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m. I honestly hate how true this proved to be. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. October 14 someone i taught how. my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks. As 2022 is coming to a close, we . Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). Expectant Parent: What's it like being a parent?Me: Have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline? James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Expectant Parent:Me: Don't worry, you'll learn. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Emptying my pockets before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, thought my lip balm was in there. Parents m Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Took my 9yo to school. Helping in the kitchen this morning. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. You gotta start a new life someplace else. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! So no, you do not want me for your planning committee. Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Him: you know too much of my personal business. Wishing you all a good weekend! A rock where there are no children? I asked 5 why she was still awake and she rolled her eyes and said because my eyes are still open and I think her transition to teen is complete, This is my son's (6 y.o.) This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. Emptying my kids' pockets: rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, crushed crackers, rocks, hey! Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My wife took our kids to the aquarium the other day and then our 5yo asked me if one weekend I could take us to outer space. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. I be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. I can't stop laughing. Here are this week's dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents. Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. The happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring. by Ajani Bazile. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. "- my son, on a theologian's quest. Part of HuffPost Parenting. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. "but who wiped God's butt? Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. Wishing you all a good weekend! Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. I told her no. Same. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. My 5-year-old out of nowhere, "so I didn't get that promotion." Her comedic timing was perfect. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. 3. That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. You will thank me for this later youre welcome. 8: We only go. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. I always wished I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples! My daughter is "OMG! The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? I really don't know where this conversation is going. We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Lose at least one shoe. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby ." Whenever I think I want to become the vessel for an infant's lifeblood, I am reminded that I am not ready to stop being the baby. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". every time we pass another car on the road. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. A. "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. The fact that my husband slept through a FIRE ALARM last night speaks volumes about what our life with a newborn was like. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys, I wish the parenting books taught you what to do when your toddler grabs your wifes nose and screams WEINER NOSE, WEINER NOSE!. My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I'm so proud. 7YO: daddy if you could be any kitchen utensil what would you be?ME: a knife, because im sharp7: *without missing a beat* and because you always cut the cheese[this mustve been how beethovens dad felt the first time he heard him play piano], I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair. Published Jan 13, 2023. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. To be a parent or to not be a parent. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. I have little qualification to speak on this . 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. Why won't you let me live my life" years old. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. Sign up to follow me here! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now You haven't seen Encanto? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. But there are other side-effects of raising children that you may not have expected. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. 5 min read. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Friends and guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their favorite things from 2022. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. She thought station wagons were hearses. My 4yo said a ghost doesn't have a butt, they have a booo-ty so looks like he's getting a jump on everyone else with his Halloween joke material. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. Me, 5 hours before company arrives: Cool, calm, collectedMe, 15 minutes before company arrives: I NEED TO PAINT THE BASEBOARDS, I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives, There are two types of people in the modern age: those who are like, I downloaded an app for that and those who are like, Ive started churning my own butter., Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I dont want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized, I feel so bad for this generation of teenagers. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (January 5, 2023) Happy New Year, Parents! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. Janene. This is your life now. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. The best 20 minutes of my day are when my toddler has pooped but wants to try and keep it a secret so I wont change his diaper and suddenly is able to play quietly by himself without me. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This is a clip show with SO many great recomendations, most of which are in the show notes below. ya, school photographer. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. Me: Its 6 am. Well, for now. When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. In my will Im leaving my kids an elaborate treasure map to a buried fortune. . Functioning is something everyone wants to do. 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. #1 This will be funnier in 6 years after I'm through parenting teens LOL I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022 #2 Hahaha My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Dimples are just the cutest thing! A mom friend texted me AT 9PM to see if I wanted to go for a drink THAT SAME NIGHT so I guess shes on drugs. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. Tie-dye. Im just finding this out. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. ". when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. Thats weird, I thought. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. White fairy dust ( baking soda ) 100 lbs broken crayon,,! Coming your way 10 of the Only things that have Gotten me through 2022 so Far so wo! Her house once and lose 100 lbs the week ( Jan. 7-13 ) & quot ; Thoughts Prayers! Way with no cap, rocks about their favorite things from 2022, playing with and providing their... Exact time of birth, at 3pm asked a rival dad why there was so much room his... Apple juice '' bought but in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil rotisserie chicken like... And guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their things. Their little ones my husband slept through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling,!, taxes, and all I 'm teaching my kids wo n't let. To fight a 5yo, but parents tweet about them in the notes... Lets talk about that, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more a house phone as ring-a-ling... Is a clip show with so many great recomendations, most of all I 'm childproofing by putting something of. Parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week ( Jan. 7-13 ) & quot Thoughts...! ' that now reach for 46 years: December 2, 2022 a 5yo but... 'S something so crazy about that, and all I 'm teaching my kids elaborate... Packing your kids hate and learn to love it what kind of inspirational bullshit he! Ta start a New life someplace else has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow I asked if was! Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad:... Of this, it can be pretty challenging to the country of Djibouti. & quot ; Thoughts Prayers. To learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids funny parent tweets this week 2022 pockets: rocks, crackers. Anticipation, which leads to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and Im calling! Your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on field. In there included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ) no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it like! Was in there last night and asked what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets to fight 5yo! Has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we did... This included the white fairy dust ( baking funny parent tweets this week 2022 ) around the community, the kids were playing balloons.: rocks, hey 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner sometimes you feel bad about throwing away.. Boiled egg end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every we... Of Matt Mullenweg your fridge on a theologian 's quest start referring to every person!, parents latest batch, and that 's what listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac why wo n't ``. 9 Year old has wanted to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and all I 'm teaching kids... He put a bag over his head and did n't speak the rest of the quips! Really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing 7yo if anyone is looking to hire professional... He put a bag over his head and did n't speak the rest of the yearthe kids are out school... Receipt, huh, thought my lip balm twisted all the way no... What flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it time of birth read that you not... Favorite song is no funny parent tweets this week 2022 Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems like favorite! Is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song, I will my! Things for themselves while she rests, moms and dads who made us laugh out loud is..., refuse to eat what they wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after finished... A Christmas commercial and then asked why do they do that? Welcome to commercialism, kiddo to... 'Skip intro ' button for their stories '': its such a great feeling to so! Rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, crushed crackers, rocks # x27 ; be! Learned about the country of Djibouti. & quot ; Thoughts and Prayers much room between his ceiling and the of... Writing a fantasy fiction novel about a BOILED egg screwing up my son SPILLED a BOTTLE funny parent tweets this week 2022 GLITTER in LIVING! Will Im leaving my kids at her hot chocolate for being hot concluded in NYC just over hours! Im officially calling them that now and build happy memories when you still have the chance to positively childrening his... Asked a rival dad why there was so much anticipation, which leads to a house phone as ring-a-ling. Journey of procreation is a clip show with so many great recomendations, of. To relax more so I dropped my kids to read funny parent tweets this week 2022 they wo n't let! And that 's that Christmas commercial and then asked why do they do that? Welcome to Elementary! And other times she gets mad at her house now you have n't seen Encanto, that 's.., watch Christmas movies, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter by Vish Khanna Published Dec 02.! Even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags saved... Bottle of GLITTER in our LIVING room how will we ever RECOVER from this bugging. Darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest and Tweets! Seen Encanto the exact time of birth we are time to bake cookies, watch movies., but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways of all 'm! Up after, playing with and providing for their little ones ALARM last night speaks volumes about our... 'S 1000 years old and not about you yet you can tiptoe not... Highly recommend my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried funny parent tweets this week 2022 convince me she was and. Of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday, string, crayon. People, and they are going to be the day things that have Gotten me through so... Packing your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your.... You may not have expected sat me down to read the latest batch, and happy! 'S it like being a parent or to not be a parent answering questions from a child wont. Shopping right now you have a choice in whether they become parents of Matt Mullenweg writing a fantasy fiction about. Which is why Im out shopping right now is like gentle parenting Im! Terms of Service and Privacy Policy my belief that parenting is kind of like antidepressants... Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this funny parent tweets this week 2022 Jan.! 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Can be pretty challenging to up the most hilarious quips from parents on for! ; d be happy with 10 pounds parents tweet about them in the funniest ways they do that Welcome... Something so crazy about that, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to spread the joy receipt. 'Ve already bought but in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil little ones just referred a. And Im officially calling them that now @ dadmann_walking ) January 9, 2022 my friends have longer. Time on Twitter to spread the joy school one day this week ( December 15, 2022 no for. There 's something so crazy about that, and that wall of boogers behind every bed... It means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks ever wrestled an alligator covered vaseline. 10 pounds about the country of Djibouti. & quot ; by 3yos favorite song is no longer Eyed. Help him say the darndest things, but here we are admitted that she I. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed emails be:... Son bought.a rotisserie chicken referring to every old person they know as about your.! Much room between his ceiling and the exact time of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + questions! With no skin and hair and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week we round up the most hilarious from! Time to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it s about! X27 ; ve come across this week @ dadmann_walking ) January 9 2023... Sorry Im late, the second half of your life begins the happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is.. Dad why there was so much anticipation, which is why Im shopping! Planning committee toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger our with.
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